THE JOURNEY TO HEALING

When Princess Diana died in Paris in 1997, it shocked the world and led to an unprecedented international outpouring of grief.

For her son Prince Harry, 12 at the time, it meant an intensely personal nightmare became a painful source of endless public speculation. He spent the next 20 years trying to escape his anger at the events leading up to that fatal car crash and come to terms with his profound sorrow at the loss of his much-loved mother. 

It was only when he met Meghan Markle that he found the courage to tackle the impact this devastating childhood trauma had on his life. In an episode of The Me You Can’t See, the Apple TV+ mental health series he co-created and executive produced with Oprah Winfrey, Harry explained: “I realised to make my relationship work, I needed to deal with the anger in my past. To go back to the point of trauma, process it and then move forward.” 

Although he had never experienced counselling before meeting his future wife, he had always been interested in one healing technique, Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy. 

OVERWRITING TRAUMA WITH EMDR

EMDR was developed in 1989 by California psychotherapist Francine Shapiro as a treatment for trauma. It proved so successful with war veterans and survivors of natural disasters that by 2013, the World Health Organisation was recommending it as a first-choice treatment for post-traumatic stress disorder, commonly known as PTSD.

The theory is that by pairing cognitive recollection of a trauma with a powerful memory of being safe, the person is gradually able to remember the situation without experiencing emotional distress. 

To do this, the practitioner asks the patient to recall an upsetting occasion and then introduces bilateral stimulation, usually eye movement or tapping of shoulders. Marrying such repetitive, patterned activity with disturbing thoughts ultimately creates a new default for that memory. 

In his TV series, Prince Harry discusses how flying into London became a trigger for anxiety as he associated arriving in the city with the hounding of his mother by paparazzi and of feeling hunted and helpless. Prince Harry is filmed being guided by his therapist, Sanja Oakley, as he tunes back into being on a plane. Oakley asks him to tap his shoulders and process those negative thoughts as well as any feelings that arise, while thinking about what he would prefer to believe, which is that he is no longer afraid. After a few minutes, the prince reports feeling calmness and strength. 

“Therapy has equipped me to take on anything. It cleans my hard drive,” Harry explained. “I don't have to speak to someone every day. For me, it’s all about prevention – to have someone who can guide and create that awareness of pain and make sure it doesn't snowball into something bigger.”